You’re plagued by noisy neighbors, who do you call?


Paralysed by a sniper’s bullet, former Chief of Detectives, Robert T. Ironside would know exactly how to handle this situation. As a consultant to the Police Dept. he knows the law. And if your noisy neighbors want to get tough? He’ll send bodyguard and ex-convict Mark Sanger around to pay them a visit. Job done!

Old Ironsides

The USS Constitution, better known as Old Ironsides, is the oldest commissioned warship still afloat. But don’t let her age fool you! If she can handle the British frigate Guerriere she can get your neighbors to turn their TV down! If they refuse or start arguing, Old Ironsides is equipped with 54 guns. In the unlikely event the rowdy neighbors manage to return fire after the first salvo, anything they send over is likely to bounce right off – she didn’t earn the nickname Ironsides for nothing!

Ironside, starring Raymond Burr as the titular detective, ran from 1967 to 1975. Over its eight season run, NBC aired 199 episodes. For his performance, Burr earned six Emmy and two Golden Globe nominaitons. Quincy Jones created the opening theme Smackwater Jack. It was the first time synthesizer-based music was used for a television theme. Built in 1797, the USS Constitution has never been defeated in battle. She is the world’s oldest commissioned warship. Although she earned the nickname ‘Old Ironsides’ the Constitution is not an ironclad vessel. Made of wood, more than 1500 trees were used in her construction.

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